Monday, June 15, 2015

Is It Fate....or ....Excuse?

Is It Fate.... or .....Excuse?
Have you ever been around someone that when they start talking about the way their life has turned out, you hear, "Well, I can't help it. When I was little, this happened or that happened, or my parents were not good parents, so that's why I'm like I am." I know a woman who used to say, "Well my ex husband was an alcoholic so now my son's going to be  an alcoholic."  I asked her at one time, "Why do you say that? You're son doesn't drink." But she would say, " Well I know he don't now but he will eventually because of his dad."  I never understood that. She had already determined what she just considered his fate in life.  I am a firm believer that we make our own choices as we get older...as we grow up.  God gives all of us that option. Once we learn the truth and know that we can make different choices, then if we had a bad upbringing, why would we want to continue that cycle?
On the other hand, we could turn that around. For example, I was raised in a wonderful christian home! My daddy was a minister and we pretty much lived our lives in church. However, when I got older, I decided I wanted to see what was out there. So I sang in nightclubs, drank, and acted stupid. Made a lot of stupid mistakes. But they were choices I made for myself. I got back in church eventually, then later on, after my divorce, I gave up on God again. I was angry, so I decided to do things my way. (I know God had to be laughing on that one. Your way? Yeah right..)  But my upbringing was wonderful. Two of the best parents anyone could ever have! I love my parents with all my heart! But I made a decision to go a different direction. Now they continued to pray for me, and God convicted my heart, and I rededicated my life to Him and have been serving Him every since. But it was choices I made. I know someone who didn't have the best upbringing in her childhood. She seen things and witnessed things that she should not have had to. So when she got grown, she could have continued down that road and said, "Well, that's just the way I was raised." But she didn't. In fact she said that when she got old enough to make her own decisions, she decided that she was going to do things different. She said, " I don't have to be like that just because they did." And now she is serving God and has a beautiful life!
So is it fate...or is it excuse? There are times when people have lived a life that has been horrible and the things they have been through are unheard of. And at first, they may think, "I guess this is the way it's always going to be." But then when they discover that it doesn't have to be like that....that they do have a choice....then it's up to them to change their thinking and to make better decisions. Now where the excuse comes in at....is when they realize they do have the option to be different...they do have the choice to change and make something out of their lives... and  yet they choose not to. And I want to say that  the best way they can  do that is to ask Jesus to come into their hearts and He will forgive them and help them to make those right choices. So if they  choose to lean on that crutch and say, " Well, I can't help it. I was just raised that way so it's just inevitable that my life has to be this way" ..... then to me, that is an excuse. It's easier to blame than to change.  Now some of you may disagree with me, and that's okay. But I'm saying, don't let anyone convince you that you are stuck into living a certain way, just because you had a rough childhood. Don't let anyone steal your dreams and convince you that the bad cycle can't be broken!  Remember....we all have choices to make.... What's your choice?

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